no more classes

Yesterday was my last day of class. Today I slept in a little late, and looked out the window and it just seems gloomy. It seems that has spread to my mood. I feel like I am lacking lately. I don’t know if it’s my crazy girly hormones, or the weather, or how I tend to overanalyze every single situation. I just spent some time like I do every morning with God and I feel much better. I am on proverbs and I love the quick little sayings that so easily stick with me throughout my day.

Today I have a party at work. Work already has gotten better. Yesterday at the meeting my managers assigned more work for me to do, which makes me think that they think I can handle it. So get this, 2 places called back (1 for an interview, 1 for a job), but I sadly declined. Is that saying no to God? I think it was an answered prayer. Well it was a prayer I wanted badly at one point, until I decided that I thought God was telling me to stick where I was and to trust him that my work situation would get better. So I felt very conflicted, but ultimately decided to stay where I am now.

I am still waiting for something crazy to happen. I have asked God to bless my tithe everyday. I have 2 bills due in 5 days. I had a dream last night that Obama was attending a speech I was giving about how music has influenced my relationship with God and he asked me what a Christian was. WEIRD! I think I am going home tonight. There’s no point to be on campus with no one around and no classes to go to!

work

So I guess I just need to make the best out of my job and I pray I will stop getting in trouble, and people there will have favor on me, and I will get a raise. It is probably better this way because as soon as summer starts, I have a 10-12:15 class Monday through Thursday. That already like destroys my availability. Plus, my internship starts June 1st and the job I have right now is so flexible, so maybe that’s a good thing. So I picked up a shift today to get more money and I am working this Saturday.

I got my biweekly paycheck (FINALLY) and I wrote out a check for my tithe. I am nervous because after my car payment I have $0. I haven’t had money since 2 weeks ago when I last got paid so that is $0 for a whole month. Plus I have 2 credit card payments due and no money so I guess let’s see how God will blessed me!

I hate money. When Brendan lost his job it was really really hard. Sometimes all I want is to buy something for myself. I really haven’t bought anything for myself in months that isn’t like groceries. My entire paycheck goes to my bills. Like I want to get my hair cut and I need it desperately.  I want to get my nails done. I want to be able to drive by a Starbucks on a whim pull in and get a decaf Americano. I know I have been spending my money wisely  because last week Brendan and I decided not to go to Boston and Worcester.  But good news is that I am $40 away from getting paid by ChaCha. I have until May 15th!

Living Complete in Christ

Living Complete in Christ
We are complete in Jesus (Colossians 2:10)
Without Christ, people are always searching
When we believe, trust in, and rely on the Lord we are blessed
Worldly Advertising
The world is deep in debt trying to buy what God offers for free
Chasing after substitutes for God is like chasing the wind
Accept Christ
As believers in Jesus, we are His home
Let faith take the lead, and feelings will follow
A Case of Mistaken Identity
Our identity is established a result of who we choose to identify with
If we identify with Jesus, we will no longer have an identity crisis
You belong to God!
Jesus desires that you feel whole, complete, and satisfied

What an amazing book. In this book there were a lot of answers to why I act the way I do and why I feel the way I do. I always wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I react different to situations? I was exhausted from always having to be perfect. I know now that in God’s eyes I am perfect. I did nothing to merit His love, but He loves me anyway.

The task at hand is how do I deal with the people of this world? How can I get past thinking other people will never accept me? I am glad that I have Brendan who already keeps me accountable when it comes to this stuff. I will continue to pray that I can receive his criticism because I know he is only helping me. He points out when I am starting to worry too much and he encourages me to keep going. I see myself differently after this book and I pray I can continue to work on being the best I can be!

Chapter 13 – Using Your Pain

Chapter 13
Let your pain be someone else’s gain – Jesus did
God can take a painful thing and cause it work out for our good and the good of others
God’s Purpose Is Beyond Our Comprehension
God is a God of purpose
We may not know what He is doing, but if we trust Him, He will make something wonderful from it
Hurt! Healed! And Read To Help!
Have a good attitude during hard times
We may not always understand, but we can trust
Don’t spend your life angry and bitter if you’ve been hurt
God Is Looking For Experienced Help
When we go to work for God, He will use everything in our past, no matter how painful
Take a look at how you can use your pain for someone else’s gain
Work in the Kingdom for the One Who is the Master of restoring hurt people
The Best Kept Secret
We can get Satan back for the painful things he has brought into our lives by being good to others
God hasn’t called to “in-reach”, but to “out-reach”
You can overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21)
Our Thinking Is All Wrong
You don’t need to be concerned about how others treat you, but how you should treat them
Give Away What You Want
If you want compliments, give them away
Make a special effort to make people feel valued and loved
“I will bless you and make you a bless” (Genesis 12:13)
“I Need Healing”
Spending time with God is vital, especially when we’ve been wounded
We need light from God to understand ourselves
Help Somebody on Purpose
What you make happen for someone else, God will make happen for you

Chapter 12- Breaking Controlling Powers

Part 3 – Breaking the Pattern for the Future
Chapter 12
It is not God’s will for us to be controlled by anyone except His Holy Spirit
We have been purchased with the blood of Jesus (1 Corinthians 6:20)
The Enabler
When we fail to confront people who are controlling us, we enable them to stay the way they are
Jesus was moved with compassion instead of enabling people to stay the way they are (Matthew 9:36)
The most vital thing for any Christian is a prompt obedience to God
Make Your Own Decisions
Being controlled and manipulated steals your peace and joy
What About Submission to Authority?
Submit to authority, but do not be controlled
Unjust things happen in this life but our just God will make wrong things right
Discerning when to endue and when to confront is the key to success
Negative Authority
Work, church, home, husbands and wives
Characteristics of Control
There are 2 types of control : emotional control and verbal control
If you are being controlled, learn to recognize these methods being used against you
If you are the controller, ask God to help you recognize when you are doing it
Gaining Freedom From Control
1. Recognize
2. Act
3. Understand
4. Confront
5. Pray
A Word to Controllers
It is possible to be both a controller and someone being controlled
 We can encourage people to do the right thing, but we shouldn’t manipulate them to get our way
5 Things to Do If You Are a Controller
1. Admit to yourself
2. Ask God for forgiveness
3. Ask others for forgiveness
4. Encourage honesty
5. Don’t give up
Don’t Overcorrect Your Problem
Trying to control everyone and everything is stressful
“People have a right to make their own choices and I should respect them
Pray often, use wisdom, and be patient
 Strive to be in balance

Chapter 11 – Pressing Past Rejection

Jesus instructed His disciples to shake off rejection (Matthew 10:14)
Rejection is one of Satan’s favorite tool to use against people
A Solid Foundation
Build your lives on solid rock, not sand (Matthew 7:24-27)
Be rooted deep in God’s love (Ephesians 3:17)
The Root of Rejection
It is God’s will that you be rooted in securely in love and acceptance
Having a fear of rejection will cause you to react fearfully to many situations that seem very ordinary to a healthy person
The Fear of Rejection
The fear of rejection leads people into superficial relationships or isolation
People often fear becoming too close because of past rejection
Fear of rejection only exists because we base our self-worth on others’ opinions not on God’s
The Results of Rejection
Insecurity
Rebellion
Poverty
Escapism
Workaholism
Perfectionism
Rejection After Perception
Rejection-based people often perceive that they are being rejected when they aren’t
Talk To Yourself
 I may not be accepted by everyone, but I can survive it
If you have God, you have all you need
 God is responsible for our reputation anyway

Chapter 10 – Pressing Past a People-Pleaser Attitude

Chapter 10
We are to be God-pleasers, not self-pleasers or people-pleasers
Pleasing people is good, but it is not good to become people-pleasers
Check Your Motives
God wants you to be motivated by love
Unless we do what we do for right reasons, we lose our reward
We must do things for the will of God, not to please men
It’s our responsibility to stand up to people who try to control us
Go With God
Follow God, not people!
We have the freedom to follow the Holy Spirit
Don’t let anyone steal what Jesus died to give you
You Have Legitimate Needs For Yourself
People-pleasers regularly set aside their own legitimate needs
People-pleasers don’t value themselves, so they don’t think others do either
We all have needs, especially emotional needs (love, acceptance, etc)
God Wants You to Enjoy Yourself
“I came so that you have and enjoy your life” (John 10:10)
As Christians, we are called to help others, but it’s not wrong to do things you enjoy
Learn to receive from God, people, and yourself
“I Feel Bad When I Don’t Please People”
A spiritually mature person learns to deal with people being disappointed, and keeps a good attitude
Beware of developing a false sense of responsibility
Living With Limits
People-pleasers feel guilty, selfish, and indulgent when they actually take a moment for themselves
People-pleasers push beyond the bounds of reason if they think everyone will be happy with them
Establish Boundaries
Establish limits and margins to protect yourself from being used and abused
Enforce your guidelines even if you end up losing friends
Delegate or Fall Apart
God has created us to be interdependent on one another
Let as many people you as possible
Learn to delegate
“I Feel I Should Be Able To Do More”
We are all different and have different limits
Work with the Holy Spirit to achieve a balance
Don’t pressure yourself to perform exactly the way others do
Dishonesty Is A Symptom if People-Pleasing
Approval addicts often tell lies because they fear people won’t accept the truth
Be bold enough to speak the truth and save yourself a lot of trouble

Chapter 9 – Pressing Past Anger and Unforgiveness

Chapter 9
How we process our anger is most important
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26)
When we stay angry, we give the devil a foothold into our lives
Staying angry and harboring unkind feelings towards others is disobedient 
“It Isn’t Fair”
God will make everything right that is wrong if we will only trust him (Isaiah 61:7-8)
When we stay angry, God will not work on our behalf
Seeking Compensation
Vengeance is clearly His and He will give double the blessings for our former trouble (Romans 12:17-19)
Let go and let God be God
Stress from trying to collect compensation for past hurts instead of forgiving and trusting God to pay us back
Stop Wearing Things That Don’t Fit
We must put on love and clothes ourselves as representatives of God (Colossians 3:12)
We are created to receive and give love
A refusal to forgive our enemies drives a wedge between you and God
Who is Your Real Enemy?
Our warfare is with the devil, not with people (Ephesians 6:12)
To get back at Satan, aggressively be good to everyone, including our enemies
Keep the Strife Out
The ability to forgive requires an attitude of humanity
We are to live in peace; Jesus called Himself the Prince of Peace
Resist the temptation to let anger root in your heart
When you allow yourself to remain angry, you poison your own system
Four Steps to Victory
1. Forgive those who have hurt us (I listed 5 people)
2. Pray for them as God has told us to
3. Ask God to bless our enemies
4. Wait; don’t give up
Learning A New Response
We must choose to press past the pain of anger
 Responding to offense with forgiveness is a new way!

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Chapter 8 – Pressing Past Guilt and Shame

This one chapter summarizes my whole life. This is my thing: if I can try really really hard not to mess up or screw up, then I can avoid the guilt and shame that comes a long with it. So in reality, I am trying very hard to be perfect, and when I do fail, it is 100 times worse because the guilt just won’t leave for a long time. It is hard feeling guilty and ashamed everyday. I can always find something to feel bad about. But I am done with that!

Chapter 8
Merely knowing what to do does no good if we don’t do it!
People are much more impressed by our actions than by our words
Feeling unwanted and unqualified can lead to guilt and shame
Shame and Blame
If people have a shame-based nature (which I do), the result is they are doomed to punishment
The Blame Game
Blaming others for our own unhappiness only helps us avoid dealing with the real problem
God’s Word says we are to overcome evil with good
Blaming others is a sick game the devil plays with our thoughts and emotions
Shame and Depression
It is impossible for anyone to feel happy if he doesn’t like who he is or is ashamed of himself
Only the medicine of God’s Word can heal a depressed person
Don’t just study the Word of God, do it! (James 1:22)
Addicted to Guilt
Guilt addicts just don’t feel right if they don’t feel wrong
Satan is trying to make us guilty and condemned, not God
People who are in a relationship with approval addicts feel manipulated
Be humble enough to receive correction, but confident enough not to let the opinions of others control us
Excessive Introspection 
Reverse self-centeredness: shame-based people think about themselves most of the time
The Bible says to examine ourselves, but we can become excessive (1 Corinthians 11:20)
Stop looking at what’s wrong with you and start looking at what is right with Jesus
“But I Feel Guilty”
Satan works through feelings to deceive Christians
Learn to act on God’s Word, not react to old memories
Compare your feelings to God’s Word and exalt his Word above all